im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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