Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
