A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
