I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
