someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
