We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
