I cannot find my penis.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
