have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
