Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
