I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
