It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
