My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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