Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
