So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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