I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
