woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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