So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
