spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
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