yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
