I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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