Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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