I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
