what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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