is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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