I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
high people should be assigned attendants
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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