I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
