Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
