My first STD was from a foam party
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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