I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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