ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
