omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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