im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
