On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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