Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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