he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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