Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
