After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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