I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
