I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
