i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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