I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Every concussion has its silver lining
OPIZZABONMYDICK
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
