He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
