god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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