I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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