I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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