you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
should my penis look like a turkey
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
