Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
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