Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
