I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
If I die, sorry about rent.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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