I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
