Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I think i got beer on your cat.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
